Market Research Poem
About me I agree strongly with most of the following statements at different times depending on the moon.

Yes I get pleasure from my garden though I doubt if the feeling is mutual.
My family is more important than my career and we spend a lot of time together when not filling out survey forms.
Only congenital liars would say I was an extrovert.
I am not at my best with a crowd unless they sit still, applaud at the right moments and generally do as they’re told.

People might say I was organised if I could get round to asking them.
I enjoy tough physical activity when directed at others on TV or computer screens.
Other people take my opinions seriously when offered sufficient financial incentive.
I don’t generally get a raw deal out of life except when it comes to certain literary editors.
I rarely feel lonely except in the aforementioned crowd if it’s misbehaving.
Store catalogues and no frills airfares do not loom large in my psyche.
I have concern for the environment and young people
so my views on MacDonald’s that seem to interest you so much
cannot be expressed by putting an X in a box.

Of course I believe motherhood is important and virgins should not be sacrificed to vampires unless the safety of the community is genuinely at risk
and I like to keep in touch with friends
but buying products from them is usually not a good idea
and I sometimes do things on the spur of the moment like agreeing to answer a series of questions designed to thread the mind into a lattice of acquisition
as if Descartes was just something to wheel around a supermarket
searching for the fulfilment that only a good shampoo can bring.

Don’t thank me please for my time and careful consideration. This has been the last time. I know you value my contribution, just as the wasp values the caterpillar’s living corpse when it lays its egg.


NikeRike -scart

Duncan Richardson